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Is Harper trying to position himself as next Liberal leader

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Liberalization of the Tories is underway with the exception of stupid stuff like prison reform for juveniles and the gun law:

http://www.torontosun.com/2011/07/20/to ... rers-spell

In case you haven't heard, the latest (and last) Harry Potter movie is a blockbuster hit. So naturally I feel compelled to somehow rip it off.

And that explains my latest political theory.

I believe a Voldemort-like wizard has cast a spell on the Conservative Party of Canada, a spell which causes high-ranking Tories to say the exact opposite of what conservatives should say.

Sound like a crazy fantasy?

Well, just consider the evidence.

First, there is the case of John Walsh, president of the Conservative Party.

According to media reports, Walsh sent a congratulatory letter to "¦ are you ready for this? "¦the Communist Party of China, which is celebrating the 90th anniversary of its founding.

Now I realize a 90th anniversary is a big deal and I also get that trade with China is important, but Conservatives congratulating communists is like dogs congratulating mailmen or Red Sox fans congratulating the New York Yankees.

It just shouldn't happen, it's unnatural.

Walsh should have sent the Communist Chinese a letter saying : "Hey commies, after 90 years it's about time you realized oppressing your own people is wrong! And guess what? Mao Tse-Tung was a butcher."

Want more proof something oddly supernatural is going on with the Conservatives?

Well, a few days ago, Tory cabinet minister Tony Clement criticized the Liberals for practicing fiscal conservatism.

I kid you not.

In a statement to the media, Clement disparaged the previous Liberal government for balancing the budget with what he called a "slash-and-burn campaign."

Sounding an awful lot like NDP Leader Jack Layton, Clement bashed the Liberals for cutting thousands of public service jobs and for hacking transfers to the provinces.

What would the Conservatives do differently from the Liberals when it comes to balancing the budget?

Who knows? All Clement would say is the Tories "prefer to take a more responsible and reasonable approach."

That doesn't sound like someone who is all that serious about taking on the hard task of eliminating Canada's record deficit, does it?

Nor does it sound like a true conservative.

As a conservative, Clement should be saying things like: "Attention all Ottawa bureaucrats. Get ready; we are coming after your departments with an axe."

Conservatives, after all, are supposed to hack and slash and cut away at big government.

And by the way, for conservatives a "responsible and reasonable approach" to cutting spending would include selling off the CBC, slashing all funding for the Human Rights Commission, ending grants to art groups and scrapping the government's health care monopoly.

At any rate, it's hard to believe Conservatives like Clement and Walsh would voluntarily cast aside their values and principles.

Hence, my idea about possible sorcery.

And if I'm right, the Tories better find a counter spell to restore their ideals and they better do it soon.

Otherwise they might experience another form of magic: Their conservative voter base might start to disappear.

OK, I'm just joking about all that magic stuff. The idea some wizard is casting a spell on the Conservative Party is, of course, utterly and completely ridiculous.

We all know the real culprits must be mind-controlling space aliens.

- Nicholls is a communications consultant

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